CRAFT CONNECT
Families Heal Program
Families Heal helps you care for a loved one—child or adult—who is struggling with behavior challenges. Healing happens when families take small steps, one skill at a time—together.
Wednesdays, 6:00-7:00pm Mountain Time (US and Canada)
When Someone You Love Is Struggling, You Feel Helpless.
You’ve tried talking. You’ve tried warning. You’ve tried pleading. Nothing seems to work.
Families Heal is built on CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training). Backed by over 30 years of research, it is the leading evidence-based method for helping families influence a loved one struggling with substances or maladaptive behaviors.
No confrontation. No forcing. No waiting for them to be ready. You can begin now.
What Makes Families Heal Different?
Families Heal combines CRAFT with a faith-based, spiritual approach to healing.
Families Heal teaches practical, step-by-step skills you can use at home. Instead of arguing, reacting, or giving up, you will learn how to respond with wisdom and purpose. You will learn how to reduce defensiveness, stop reinforcing harmful behavior, strengthen healthy choices, and recognize the right moment to invite treatment.
Families Heal gives you the tools to move forward with faith, love, and skill.
Ten Sessions.
Session 1. Find Hope and a Clear Way Forward
Begin with hope instead of blame. The three main goals of CRAFT: improve your own life, reduce harmful behavior, and increase your loved one’s willingness to accept help. Your responses can make a difference, even when you cannot control your loved one’s choices.
Session 2. Understanding Behavior Before Responding
Slow down and look at behavior before reacting to it. You learn to notice what happens before the behavior, what the behavior looks like, and what happens afterward. All so you can influence change.
Session 3. Communicate Clearly and Be Heard
Communicate in ways that lower defensiveness and reduce power struggles. You learn how to speak with calm, clear, respectful “I” statements. You also practice showing understanding without agreeing with harmful behavior.
Session 4. Positive Reinforcement
Respond warmly when your loved one does something healthy, sober, responsible, respectful, or safe. Use positive reinforcement in simple, planned ways. Reinforcement increases the chance that a behavior will happen again.
Session 5. Functional Analysis of Healthy Behavior
Healthy behavior often has a pattern. Notice when your loved one’s healthy behavior happens, what helps it happen, what gets in the way, and what small change could make it easier.
Session 6. Stop Feeding the Pattern: Withdrawing Reinforcement
You may accidentally be reinforcing substance use or harmful behavior with money, attention, rescuing, excuses, comfort, or relief from responsibility. Choose one reinforcer you can safely remove, and learn how to state that change calmly.
Session 7. Stay Supportive Without Taking Over
Step back without becoming cold or punishing. Let your loved one experience the safe results of their choices instead of your rescuing, covering, fixing, or taking over. How to handle guilt, fear, and pressure while staying caring and connected.
Session 8. I Problem Solving and Safety Planning
Handle real problems in small, clear steps. How to define the problem, brainstorm options, choose one step, try it, and review what happened. You also learn when safety must come first and when outside help is needed.
Session 9. Build a Life That Feels Meaningful
Your well-being matters even when your loved one is struggling. Identify small positive activities, supportive relationships, and stress-reducing habits that help you stay steady. A stronger life gives you more calm, more choice, and more influence.
Session 10. Have Confident, Effective Treatment Conversations
Prepare for conversations about treatment or extra support. How to choose the right time, speak briefly and respectfully, offer options, and respond if your loved one says no. You also practice what to say before the moment comes.
Sample Session
This is an excerpt from Session 3. Communicate Clearly and Be Heard.
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1. Be brief. Resist the urge to bring up too much. Keep it simple.
2. Be specific and clear. Focus on one thing.
3. Be positive while communicating what you want. Avoid blaming, name calling and over generalization.
4. Label your feelings. Describe the emotional impact on you in a calm, non-judgmental, non-accusatory way.
5. Offer an understanding statement. Try seeing it from the other person’s point of view.
6. Accept partial responsibility. Share a small piece of the problem.
7. Offer to help.
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What do you notice about the principles of PIUS communication that might be different from how you have been communicating?
Negative “You” vs. PIUS statements.
As we read through the following examples of negative “You” and positive “I” (PIUS) statements think about the different messages they deliver.
Negative “You”: You always get drunk and embarrass me.
PIUS: I enjoy being with you when you don’t drink. I know it’s not always easy for you, so that makes it really special.
Negative “You”: You never listen to me when I’m talking to you.
PIUS: I understand that some of our conversations are upsetting, I’d love it if you could help me work them out.
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Step 1. Write down a verbal/text or email interaction between you and your loved.
Step 2. Using the seven principles of PIUS communication re-write what you might say the next time the same situation occurs to limit defensiveness and not lead to an argument.
I... (HOW DO YOU FEEL?)
when you...(DESCRIBE THE BEHAVIOR OR CONDITION)
because... (WHY DO YOU FEEL THIS WAY?)
I would like... (WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN?)
I know... (YOU UNDERSTAND THE OTHER’S POSITION)
How can I help... (YOUR WILLINGNESS TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITY)
Step 3. Share your ”before and after” statements with the group.
Positive Communication with I Statements.
What People Are Saying
Most important things I learned from my CRAFT Connect study
“New PIUS (positive I-statement) communication skills to interact differently with my loved one.”
“I am not alone. It is “therapeutic” to be in a support group.”
“Self-care and self-compassion.”
“I Didn’t CAUSE, can’t CONTROL, and can’t CURE my loved one’s addiction.”
How the relationship with my loved one improved
“My expectations have changed due to the knowledge I have gained.”
“Our communication is calm and very open. I feel confident holding a conversation safely, without major blow ups.”
“I am able to “self-regulate” and respond. I think about my words and actions instead of just reacting.”
CRAFT Connect is made possible through a network of partners and sponsors
