CRAFTCONNECT
Families Heal Program
Families Heal helps you care for a loved one—child or adult—who is struggling with behaviors you want to help them change. Healing happens when families take things one skill at a time—together.
Seven Sessions
Session 1: Nothing I say gets through. Stop power struggles and actually be heard without escalation. Learn communication shifts that lower defensiveness and open real conversations -- even in heated moments.
Session 2. This behavior came out of nowhere. Help your loved one understand the emotions behind anxiety, anger, and shutdown. Learn how unmet needs show up as your loved one’s behavior so you can respond with clarity instead of fear or confusion.
Session 3. I don’t want to threaten anymore. Encourage better choices without yelling or punishment. Learn realistic, respectful incentives to change that build your loved one’s motivation, confidence, and responsibility.
Session 4. No one listens — They just judge. Help your loved one feel understood without agreeing. Learn validation skills that calm emotions, reduce defensiveness, and strengthen trust during hard conversations.
Session 5. Everything feels overwhelming. Reduce stress and emotional overload. Learn practical tools to lower you and your loved one’s stress early before it turns into anxiety, avoidance, or conflict.
Session 6. I’m not good enough. Break negative thought patterns that fuel anxiety and depression. Identify thinking traps and how to replace them with healthier, more realistic thoughts that support hope and action.
Session 7. I just want to see progress, Turn big problems Into small, winnable steps. Create momentum through small, doable changes that build confidence and lasting habits.
Sample Session
This is an excerpt from Session 1. Nothing I say gets through.
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1. Be brief. Resist the urge to bring up too much. Keep it simple.
2. Be specific and clear. Focus on one thing.
3. Be positive while communicating what you want. Avoid blaming, name calling and over generalization.
4. Label your feelings. Describe the emotional impact on you in a calm, non-judgmental, non-accusatory way.
5. Offer an understanding statement. Try seeing it from the other person’s point of view.
6. Accept partial responsibility. Share a small piece of the problem.
7. Offer to help.
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What do you notice about the principles of PIUS communication that might be different from how you have been communicating?
Negative “You” vs. PIUS statements.
As we read through the following examples of negative “You” and positive “I” (PIUS) statements think about the different messages they deliver.
Negative “You”: You always get drunk and embarrass me.
PIUS: I enjoy being with you when you don’t drink. I know it’s not always easy for you, so that makes it really special.
Negative “You”: You never listen to me when I’m talking to you.
PIUS: I understand that some of our conversations are upsetting, I’d love it if you could help me work them out.
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Step 1. Write down a verbal/text or email interaction between you and your loved.
Step 2. Using the seven principles of PIUS communication re-write what you might say the next time the same situation occurs to limit defensiveness and not lead to an argument.
I... (HOW DO YOU FEEL?)
when you...(DESCRIBE THE BEHAVIOR OR CONDITION)
because... (WHY DO YOU FEEL THIS WAY?)
I would like... (WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN?)
I know... (YOU UNDERSTAND THE OTHER’S POSITION)
How can I help... (YOUR WILLINGNESS TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITY)
Step 3. Share your ”before and after” statements with the group.
Positive Communication with I Statements.
What People Are Saying
Most important things I learned from my CRAFTCONNECT study
“New PIUS (positive I-statement) communication skills to interact differently with my loved one.”
“I am not alone. It is “therapeutic” to be in a support group.”
“Self-care and self-compassion.”
“I Didn’t CAUSE, can’t CONTROL, and can’t CURE my loved one’s addiction.”
How the relationship with my loved one improved
“My expectations have changed due to the knowledge I have gained.”
“Our communication is calm and very open. I feel confident holding a conversation safely, without major blow ups.”
“I am able to “self-regulate” and respond. I think about my words and actions instead of just reacting.”
