Come, follow me. Prevention S6
PREVENTION SKILL: Why Kids Do What They Do
Mindful Minutes “5 Senses” Activity.
Use anytime you need to reduce stress, manage anxiety, improve focus, promote relaxation, such as before important events, or as part of your daily routine. Helps calm the nervous system by regulating your breath and lowering your heart rate. Observe your surroundings for two minutes. During this time try to do the following:
Step 1: Pay attention to five things you are currently feeling, like the texture of your pants, breeze on your skin, or the smooth surface of a table you are resting your hands on. Let at least 15 seconds pass.
Step 1: Bring your attention to four things that you can see. Pick things that you don’t normally notice like a shadow or a small crack. Let at least 15 seconds pass.
Step 3: Listen, and note three things that you hear in the background. This can be the chirp of a bird, the hum of a refrigerator, or the faint sounds of traffic from a nearby road. Let at least 15 seconds pass.
Step 4: Be aware of two smells you usually filter out, whether they’re pleasant or unpleasant. Let at least 15 seconds pass.
Step 5: Focus on one thing that you can taste right now, at this moment. You can take a sip of a drink, chew a piece of gum, eat something, or notice the current taste in your mouth. Let at least 15 seconds pass.
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GROUP SHARING Section – Maximum time 20 minutes
Let's check in and reflect on your week. This is a safe, supportive space where we can encourage one another and focus on positive steps forward. This is a time for connection, learning, and support—let’s lift each other up! You’re invited to share for 3 to 5 minutes about anything you’ve been working on:
· Challenges you faced and how you handled them.
· Your experiences practicing CRAFTConnect principles and skills.
· How your Family Chat went and what you learned.
· Ways you took care of yourself and practiced self-compassion.
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LEARN SECTION – Maximum time 30 minutes
1. The Subjective Units of Distress Scale, or SUDS, is a way to figure out how strong you and your child’s feelings are. It is a helpful tool that lets you and your child better communicate how anxious, worried or upset you feel by giving you a number to use. This helps you understand your feelings better and find ways to feel calmer. SUDS can track how you and your child are doing over time and makes it easier to talk about your feelings. It helps you both to set goals to feel better and encourages you to pay attention to your emotions. Overall, using SUDS has been found to help reduce stress and improve how you feel. The scale goes from 1 to 10, with 1 meaning you feel almost nothing and 10 meaning the feeling is the strongest it can be.
Talk About It: How much stress you feeling today? What is your SUDS level, and why?
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2. Stress is a normal part of life for both children and adults. It can come from various situations like schoolwork, relationships, or daily challenges. It’s how your brain and body react to different situations, like meeting new people or making a big decision. Sometimes, a little bit of stress can help you stay focused and do well. For example, if your child is a bit stressed about a test, they’ll probably study more and may be more prepared. If stress gets too high, it can feel overwhelming and make may your child want to avoid going to school on the day of the test. Learning to manage stress is important for staying healthy and happy.
3. Stress shows up differently for everyone. For you, it might be difficulty sleeping, irritability, or feeling overwhelmed. In your child, signs could include changes in behavior, moodiness, sleep disturbances, or physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches. You can learn to see when you and your child are too stressed and find ways to manage it. How you look at events in your life can affect your stress levels. You and your partner or two children in your family can go through the same thing, but one might handle it well while the other feels overwhelmed.
4. Feeling worried or anxious is normal. When worry doesn’t go away, it can turn into anxiety. Stress and anxiety can feel the same, anxiety sticks around even after the stressful situation is over. This can make things like school and friendships hard. Anxiety disorders are common, and understanding your and your child’s feelings is the first step in handling them.
Talk About It: How does knowing that stress is a normal part of life help you better prepare to deal with it in your family?
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5. Your brain releases hormones in response to stress, which can be helpful in responding to real danger or be harmful if the stress is just imagined or in your mind. Too much stress for too long can hurt your physically, emotionally, and in your relationships. If you or your child ever feel completely overwhelmed, unable to cope, or if you're using substances or engaging in harmful behaviors, it's really important to seek professional help right away.
Talk About It: What signs do you notice when you or your child are under stress?
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6. Stress levels can change throughout the day, week, or month. Answering questions on the “My Stress Level Worksheet” can help measure your individual stress level during the last month. There are simple ways to reduce stress that you can do anywhere. By checking how strong your feelings are and practicing mindfulness you can start to notice changes in how you feel over time. Mindfulness is a skill that improves with practice, helping us to relax and see your thoughts and emotions more clearly. The 5 Senses activity and the Square Breathing activity we have used in prior sessions are classic mindfulness exercise that can help calm your nerves and lower your heart rate. The “Stress Reducing Worksheet” includes other ways to keep stress low or bring it back down. Professional guidance can provide additional tools and strategies tailored to you or your child’s needs. Turn to and complete the “Stress Reducing Worksheet”.
Talk About It: What stress reducing techniques work for you and your children? What should be added to the worksheet list?
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MY COMMITMENTS Section
7. These are our group commitments, we will start the next CRAFT Connect session by reporting on our commitments. This week I will:
A. Hold the “Family Chat: Stay Calm & Carry On” or alternative “Stop and Smell the Flowers” Family Chat for younger children.
· Refer to the “Stress Reducing Worksheet”.
B. Do the in-between session assignments:
· Complete the “My Stress Level Worksheet” if not completed in session.
· Complete the “Stress Reducing Worksheet”. Use a stress reducing technique as needed every day.
C. Show kindness to myself by having self-compassion and taking care of myself.
FAMILY CHAT FOR OLDER CHILDREN: There is Always a WHY?
Mindfulness Minutes Activity -- Square Breathing Exercise
Step 1: Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Slowly inhale through your nose while counting to four. Imagine drawing the first side of a square as you breathe in.
Hold:
Step 2: Hold your breath for a count of four. Visualize drawing the second side of the square during this pause.
Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth while counting to four. Picture drawing the third side of the square as you breathe out.
Step 4: Hold your breath again for a count of four. Complete the square by imagining drawing the fourth side during this pause.
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Read: Today, we're going to talk about understanding why we do what we do. We'll learn about different reasons for our actions and how we can understand and help change the ‘not okay’ ones. Let’s get started with a story.
The Johnson family sat together at the dinner table, feeling worried. Thirteen-year-old Lily used to laugh and play, but lately, she had been spending all her time in her room. Her parents, Sarah and Tom, exchanged concerned glances, knowing something was wrong. They missed her cheerful spirit and wanted to help her feel better. Determined to understand what was happening, Sarah pulled out a worksheet called that she had learned about online. Together, they began to think about Lily’s recent behavior. They realized that Lily had started acting differently when school began. She was struggling to make friends and felt sad and lonely. Tom suggested they talk to Lily in a gentle way. That night, they approached her with love and care, asking what was going on in her heart. To their surprise, Lily opened up about feeling left out and scared of not fitting in. With this new understanding, Sarah and Tom encouraged Lily to join an art class where she could meet other children who liked the same things. As Lily made new friends, her laughter slowly returned to the dinner table. The Johnsons learned that understanding why Lily acted a certain way helped them support her and bring back her happy spirit.
Talk About It: What did you learn from that story? (Chose three discussion questions to encourage children to reflect on and apply the story’s lessons to their own experience.)
· Just like Lily, everyone has a reason for their actions. Why do you think understanding the reason behind someone’s actions is important?
· How did Lily’s parents show they cared about her feelings? Why is it important for parents to know why their child act a certain way?
· Things ‘outside a person’ can make them act a certain way. Can you think of something outside of Lily that made her act a certain way?
· Feelings or thoughts ‘inside a person’ can lead to certain actions. What feelings might have made Lily act like this? How do you feel when you are sad or upset? Do you act differently?
· There are warning signs that someone might act in a not okay way. What are some signs that show Lily might be about to isolate herself? What could her parents do next time they see these signs?
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ACTIVITY
Materials needed: Strips of paper, pens or pencils, a bowl
Instructions: Gather the group around the bowl. Everyone writes down two behaviors like "shouting," "helping others," "not listening," and "playing nicely” that are frequently experienced in the family. Fold the strips in two and place them in the bowl. The first player picks a slip and shares a short story about a time they showed that kind of behavior. After they share, the group talks about how that behavior affected the family and ways to encourage more effective behavior in the future. The next player picks a slip and shares a story about that kind of behavior. At the activity’s ends, everyone shares one new thing they learned about behaviors and how to help each other do better.
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Read: By understanding things ‘outside’ and ‘inside’ ourselves and the actions that result, we can change in positive ways. This week we will use the “Why We Do What We Do” worksheet to try and understand why we act in a certain way. Like Lily and her parents, if we know we or someone we care about out because they feels ignored, we can give them more attention before they act out.
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FAMILY CHAT FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN: Inside and Outside with “Winnie-the-Pooh”
Read: Today, we're going to talk about understanding why we do what we do. We'll learn about different reasons for our actions and how we can understand and help change the ‘not okay’ ones. Let’s get started with a story inspired by A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh characters.
Once upon a time in the Hundred Acre Wood Christopher Robin had a very special friend, a tiger named Tigger. Now, Tigger wasn’t just any tiger. His stripes shone brightly in the sun, and he was always full of boundless energy, bouncing around with great enthusiasm, as only Tiggers do. However, sometimes Tigger's energy got the better of him, and his out-of-control bouncing would frighten everyone in the wood. Christopher Robin, being the thoughtful boy he was, grew worried about Tigger and wanted to understand why his dear friend seemed so upset at times. So, Christopher Robin began to watch Tigger closely. He noticed that Tigger's wild bouncing often happened whenever Christopher Robin played with his other friends and not with him. After much careful observation and thought, Christopher Robin came to a realization: Tigger felt lonely and left out when he wasn't included in the fun. Determined to make things right, Christopher Robin decided to spend more time with Tigger. He made sure to include Tigger in all the games and adventures with his other friends. Slowly but surely, Tigger's wild and frantic bouncing calmed down, replaced by joyful hops that brought smiles to everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood.
Talk About It: What did you learn from that story? (Chose three discussion questions to encourage children to reflect on and apply the story’s lessons to their own experience.)
· Have you ever felt left out like Tigger? Just like Tigger, everyone has a reason for their actions, even if it seems surprising. Why do you think understanding the reason behind someone’s actions is important?
· Things ‘outside a person’ can make them act a certain way. Can you think of something outside yourself that makes you act a certain way?
· Feelings or thoughts ‘inside a person’ can lead to certain actions. How do you feel when you are sad or upset? Do you act differently?
· There are warning signs that someone might act in a not okay way. What are some signs that show someone might be about to act out?
· Positive and negative results are good and bad things that happen because of an action. What are some good things that might happen because of an action? What are some bad things?
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ACTIVITY
Materials needed: Strips of paper, pens or pencils, a bowl
Preparation: Write down a different emotion on each slip of paper that may be frequently experienced in your family. Example: “Happiness”, “Anger”, “Sadness”, “Anxiety”, “Fear”, etc. Fold the strips in two and place them in the bow.
Instructions: Gather as a group around the bowl. Each player takes a turn picking a slip and acting out the emotion without speaking while others guess what emotion it is. After everyone has had a turn discuss how we can recognize and manage these emotions as part of family life.
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This week: By understanding things ‘outside’ and ‘inside’ us and the actions that result, we can change in positive ways. Like Christopher Robin and Tigger, if we know someone acts out because he feels ignored, we can give him more attention before he acts out. Understanding why someone in our family acts a certain way can help us better support them.
Let’s repeat together the Winnie-the-Pooh cheer -- “Always remember, you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and more loved than you know.”
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MY STRESS LEVEL WORKSHEET
Answering these questions can help measure your individual stress level during the last month. Indicate how often you have felt or thought a certain way. Although some of the questions are similar, there are differences between them and you should treat each one as a separate question. The best approach is to answer fairly quickly. Don’t try to count up the number of times you felt a particular way; rather indicate what seems like a reasonable estimate.
Step 1: For each “How often have you” question choose from the following alternatives;
0 = never, 1 = almost never, 2 = sometimes, 3 = fairly often, 4 = very often.
1. Been upset because of something that happened unexpectedly? ____
2. Felt that you were unable to control the important things in your life? _____
3. Felt nervous and stressed? ____
4. Felt confident about your ability to handle your personal problems?____
5. Felt that things were going your way?____
6. Found that you could not cope with all the things that you had to do?____
7. Been able to control irritations in your life?____
8. Felt that you were on top of things?____
9. Been angered because of things that happened that were outside of your control?____
10. Felt difficulties were piling up so high that you could not overcome them?____
Scoring: Determine your stress score by following these directions. First, reverse your scores for questions 4, 5, 7, and 8. On these 4 questions, change the scores like this: 0 = 4, 1 = 3, 2 = 2, 3 = 1, 4 = 0. Now add up your scores for each item to get a total. My total score is ___________.
(Individual scores can range from 0 to 40 with higher scores indicating higher perceived stress. Scores 0 to 13 = low stress. Scores 14 to 26 = moderate stress. Scores 27 to 40 = high stress.)
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STRESS REDUCING WORKSHEET
Describe a recent stressful situation.
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Coping ahead is a skill that can help manage stress. Write down healthy stress reducing techniques you can try next time you are in a similar situation and make a plan for when and how you will use them.
Stress Reducing Technique When and how I will use them
Example Example
Be grateful | Write what I am grateful for each day._____________
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Stress Reducing Techniques
· Be grateful.
· Pay attention to your feelings.
· Move your body often (exercise).
· Sleep enough.
· Eat good foods.
· Keep a regular schedule.
· Break big jobs into smaller ones.
· Celebrate what you do well.
· Be nice to yourself.
· Question unhealthy thoughts.
· Turn off screens.
· Talk to friends and family who care.
· Listen to positive music.
· Do something you like (hobby).
· Help someone.
· Do something calm and relaxing.
· Think about what you expect from yourself.
· Connect with nature.