Mindfulness WHAT Skill

Session Online Version

1. “Come, follow me.”
Following Jesus (Matthew 4:19) means learning a better way to live. It means pausing before reacting, handling strong emotions, and treating others with care. DBT skills help you do this. These skills teach you how to slow down, calm your body, understand your feelings, and make wise choices. These are skills you can learn, practice, and get better at over time. Today you will practice one small step in learning how to follow Him in daily life.

Think about a difficult moment you had recently. What happened? Did you try using a DBT skill? What changed when you used it? If you did not use a skill, what did you do instead? Notice what your mind and body were doing in that moment.

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Before we begin, notice how strong your feelings are right now using the SUDS (Subjective Units of Distress) scale. 1–2 calm. 3–4 a little stressed. 5–6 upset. 7–8 very distressed. 9–10 overwhelmed. Right now, I am ______ . After practicing today’s skill, you will check your SUDS number again. This helps you see if the skill is working.

2. What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness means paying attention to what is happening right now. You notice your thoughts, feelings, and body without judging them. This helps you feel calmer and more in control. Jesus taught people to slow down and find peace. He said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Mindfulness helps your heart and mind rest.

Discuss: Share a time when you slowed down and noticed how you were feeling. What did you notice in your body or your thoughts?

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3. The Three States of Mind

In DBT, there are three kinds of mind you use every day. Emotional Mind is led by strong feelings. Reasonable Mind uses facts and logic. It focuses on rules, plans, and what makes sense. Wise Mind uses both feelings and facts. It helps you make calm, balanced choices. Mindfulness helps you move into Wise Mind. Jesus showed Wise Mind when He listened with love and spoke with truth to the woman caught in adultery, staying calm even when others were upset. “Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? … Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” (John 8:10-12).

Discuss: Which ‘mind’ do you use most when you feel stressed? What helps you move toward Wise Mind?

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4. The WHAT Skills of Mindfulness

DBT teaches three mindfulness skills called the WHAT skills: Observe, Describe, and Participate. These skills help you notice what is happening and stay calm. Jesus practiced mindfulness by noticing people with care. “To the woman at the well Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink.” Jesus saw her, spoke kindly, and gave her his full attention. When you use the WHAT Skills, you feel more peaceful and connected to yourself, others, and God.

Discuss: How can mindfulness help you during hard moments at home, school, or work?

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5. Observe: Just Notice

To Observe means to notice what is happening without trying to change it. You notice what you see, what you hear, what your body feels, what you are thinking, and what emotions you feel. You can also notice urges. An urge is the strong pull to act right away. You might notice, “I want to yell,” or “I want to leave.” Do not judge the urge and do not act on it. Just notice it. As James, the brother of Jesus teaches, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:1) Let your thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky. Do not push them away and do not chase them. Just notice. Jesus observed with love, “Jesus sat down… and watched the crowd… A poor widow came and put in two small coins.” (Mark 12:41–44). When you observe without judging, you make room for peace. Observing without reacting creates clarity. The Bible teaches “Be still, and know…” (Psalm 46:10). Stillness allows awareness without immediate action. Jesus slowed down and noticed God’s presence. “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:16) Take a breath, look around, and notice what is near you. This helps your body feel safe and calm.

Discuss: Share a time you noticed your feelings without reacting. What did you learn about yourself?

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6. Describe: Put it into Words

To Describe means to use words to explain what you notice. You can say, “My heart is beating fast,” “I feel nervous,” or “I am thinking I might fail.” Jesus helped people name their needs. He asked a blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51). Instead of saying, “I am bad,” you can say, “I made a mistake.” This helps you respond with kindness to yourself and others. Facts are things you can see or hear, such as “My teacher asked me a question,” or “My friend walked away.” These are different from judgments like “They hate me” or “I always fail.” Describe means sticking to what can be proven. A camera can record facts. It cannot record opinions. Words like “always” and “never” often make emotions stronger. Clear words calm the mind. “Let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay” (Matthew 5:37). Jesus spoke in clear, loving words that helped people understand, “Then Jesus explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures about Himself.” (Luke 24:25–27).

Discuss: Share a time when you described how you felt. How did it help you feel calmer?

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7. Observe and Describe Your Thoughts Activity

This activity helps you see how often your thoughts change and how you can notice them without getting stuck in them.

Step 1: For the next two minutes notice your thoughts. Each time a new thought pops up, draw a line like this: [|]

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Step 2: Next to each line, write a word or short phrase about the thought, such as “Worried about school,” “Thinking about food,” or “Feeling tired.” ______________________________________________________________________________

Discuss: What did you learn by observing and describing your thoughts?

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8. Participate: Be All In

To Participate means to give your full attention to what you are doing. Jesus showed this when “He rose from (the last) supper… and began to wash the disciples’ feet.” (John 13:4–5). He was calm, focused, and fully present. When you participate, you stop worrying about the past and stop stressing about the fuThe Bible says, “This is the day the Lord has made” (Psalm 118:24). When you are fully present, you feel more joyful and connecteYou can practice Participate when you eat your food slowly, listen to a friend, pray, walk, clean, or play. Give your whole attention to whatever you are doing. Participate means letting go of watching yourself. Do not stand outside the moment judging how you look or sound. Step into the moment fully. Sing if you are singing. Pray if you are praying. Serve if you are serving. The Bible teaches “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might” (Ecclesiastes 9:10). When you participate fully, your heart feels stronger and your mind feels calmer.

Discuss: Share a time you were fully focused on something. What helped you stay present?

Jesus lived in the moment. He listened to people and cared for ______________________________________________________________________________

9. Bringing It All Together

Mindfulness helps you notice your thoughts, understand your feelings, calm your body, and make wise choices. The WHAT Skills—Observe, Describe, and Participate—help you stay in Wise Mind. Jesus showed us how to live with love, calm, and care. When you practice mindfulness, you walk in His peace. Each moment is a chance to grow.

Discuss: Which mindfulness skill will you practice this week? How will it help you stay calm and focused?

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10. Mindfulness Meditation: “Wise Mind” Exercise

Before you begin the exercise get into a comfortable position and just breathe naturally--in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Purpose: To connect with your inner wisdom—what DBT calls Wise Mind.

Step 1: With your eyes softly open, bring to mind “something” you are considering doing in the future. If it helps write that something down.
Step 2: For two minutes breathe naturally, focusing on each inhale and exhale.
Step 3: As you inhale, silently ask yourself, “Is this something wise?” As you exhale, simply listen—don’t try to force an answer.

Step 4: Continue this rhythm for two minutes, allowing insight to come naturally. If you don’t get an answer, that’s okay; wisdom often unfolds over time.

Discuss: What was your experience like? What did you notice?

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11. Going and Doing

Before the session, my SUDS level was _____. After the session, my SUDS level is _____. What changed in my thoughts, feelings, or body? Which of the “S.T.E.P.S.” will I take next? _____

Jesus invites you to “Go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37). Jesus observed without judgment, described situations truthfully, and participated fully with love. When you observe, describe, and participate mindfully, you step into His way of being. You see clearly, speak truthfully, and act with purpose. Practice these steps daily. This week I will:

·      Complete the “WHAT Mindfulness Skills Practice Worksheet”.

·      Begin a daily meditation practice.

Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT principles and skills.